Tuesday, February 15, 2011


"If you really love someone, you shouldn't have to work at it."

Loving feelings should come naturally in a relationship, so if you have to work at it, something's wrong…….

True or False?


The truth is exactly the opposite:

If you truly love someone, you will work very hard for the relationship.

There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results….

Rock or Sand….

Jesus spoke of a house that was built on sand and shaken by storms, while another house was built on rock and remained unmoved. It is always surprising to see how many people build their marriages on the sand of feelings instead of the rock of commitment. But I truly believe that committed couples are able, with God's help, to thrive even through the inevitable storms of Love, Life & Marriage.

Over a five-year period, one woman shared with a close friend via me e-mails about her struggles with her marriage. She went from daily messages that read, "I can't take this anymore!" to e-mails saying, "He is such a gift to me."

What accounted for the change?

Her Determination……

She now says, "A successful marriage has little to do with circumstances and a lot to do with determination — try taking the word divorce out of your vocabulary and replacing it with commitment."

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.

What is Commitment?

Responsibility; something that takes up time or energy, especially an obligation; Loyalty; devotion or dedication, e.g. to a cause, person, or relationship…

Commitment is a decision to have the abundant marriage God desires, regardless of circumstances or whether you think your spouse is doing his or her part.

Commitment turns a promise into reality with words that speak boldly of your intentions and actions that speak louder than words…..

This Kind of Commitment includes:

•Realizing That Marriage Is An Unbreakable Covenant Before God. At weddings, Atlanta minister Barry Grecu explains that ancient Hebrew culture understood a covenant not as a contract, which could be broken, but as a binding, permanent agreement — just like the covenant God makes with us.

•Choosing To "Do It Until You Feel It." We often let our feelings guide our actions, but we are actually built for the opposite. Our Creator has designed us so that when we love another person with our actions, our feelings inevitably follow.

•Focusing On The Good In Our Spouse And The Sin In Ourselves — Instead Of The Other Way Around. If you're dissatisfied with your marriage, try this challenge: For the next 30 days, don't say anything negative about your spouse — neither to him or her nor to someone else. Every day, find something you appreciate about your spouse, and verbalize it. This marital application of Philippians 4:8 (which instructs us to focus on whatever is praiseworthy) has the power to transform a marriage. When we examine and work to change ourselves, we often bring out the best in our spouse as well.

•Engaging In Christian Community, Prayer And Discipleship — Especially When You Don't Want To. These three aspects of the Christian life help sustain every believer, but they are particularly essential for those going through a difficult season.

•Relying On God To Help You Act Selflessly Toward Your Spouse. As Grecu puts it, "We are incapable of living out our covenant promises in our own human strength. Jesus says, 'Apart from Me you can do nothing' and calls us to engage with the Spirit of God being lived out through us."

Is Commitment Possible?

The often-cited statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce — even among churchgoers — can make commitment seem fruitless. But that statistic is misleading. Dozens of studies distinguish between couples who claim a nominal faith and those who prioritize church attendance. Couples who have a strong commitment to faith and attend church regularly are far more likely to have lifelong relationships.

One recent study in particular shows that those who go to church and pray together have a much lower divorce rate. The University of Virginia's Brad Wilcox found that regular church attendance cuts the likelihood of divorce by 30 percent to 35 percent. Wilcox's work is supported by another study by Annette Mahoney of Bowling Green State University, which independently came to a similar conclusion.

While that rate is still unfortunately high, when you add prayer into the mix, thoughts of divorce plummet. A 1998 survey by the Georgia Family Council found that among couples who prayed together weekly, only 7 percent had seriously considered divorce, compared to 65 percent of those who never prayed together.

The abundant marriage that God has designed for us is not only possible but also likely, and the journey there starts with one word — commitment.

Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality…….

At New Life we are “Committed” to helping couples find the Love & Purpose God intended for them…

Deb & I are Praying for your Marriage….. Pray for us!!

Sign up for our NEXT

“The Art of Marriage” seminar Friday March 25th & Saturday 26th

Call to Register (203)-261-2728 …. Registration Fee: $50.00

Check out the “Application” Tool: Strengthening Commitment…

Leave a Comment Below!! Would love to hear from some of you that attended our last “Art of Marriage” weekend…